the weighted dreams that keep me floating

i think i stayed over at her place for about three nites, with nothing happening.
and they were perfect...?
they felt perfect.
but its the questioning, the every moment of wondering 'should i, will she?"
what do you do when arent going for the first, but youre going for the most important?
its so hard to control that feeling of longing and yearning and loving.
those feelings, rather.
because i do. all of those. for her.
for them.

did i fall back in or did i ever get out?
maybe i was just sitting on the side
the more broken side of the tub
and i left my feet still in.
you got up, sat there too.
walked away for and after a few.
i think you were looking around the corner, trying to see if my feet stayed wet
but not knowing where you went i was worried
started to fret.
so i went looking but you thought i went away
you kept from getting back in that tub
bubbling, swimming with love.
it died itself down, got cold and spiteful
and you still thought i was gone leaving you around.
in fact i was looking, but found an old feeling
only this feeling was different.
i didnt have to ask, i never wondered what she meant.
i wanted to be back in that tub,
bubbles of love,
back with you but you wouldnt take truth
but here we are now.
you "called on me"
and i held you closer than youd let anyone else
with almost no words spoken i made it alright.
now every time i think of you
i think that maybe id better not know
know whether or not youd like me to call.
youve told me before when i have felt like this
but im in a different position
certainly not blissful this state
because it makes me feel like youd like me to wait.
i wont i cant i have to get you right now,
even as you talk about significant others and just
how theyll make you feel better.
please please let me make you feel better.
dont talk to me like your friend again.
talk to me like you love me again.
ive never talked to you like youre a friend.

illegitimus non carborundum est