you were rite

so yes i will say afterwards that i miss it
and that it was better. maybe the best.

it wasnt anything like i thought it would be. it hasnt been. it wasnt in the end of august either. well i spose i didnt lose anything but time to do nothing.

its strange how, when dedecorating the house, that i felt nothing of the holidays. i wasnt there for the decorating but i was the one pulling it all down. how do you grow with seventee, eighteen, maybe nineteen years of this feeling of family and home and holidays and then...nothing?

the winter has never been a good time. no not true, only for the past six or so.

maybe if i have someone to do it all for it will be good.

ill wait.